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Tips on Building Relationship with Peers


  • Growing up is a challenge.
  • Making friends and handling peer pressure have important roles in developing teen’s self-esteem, social and communication skills.
  • During adolescence, teen spend more time with their peers than parents.
  • Growing up can be fun especially when you have friends to share with.
  • But it can be lonely too.
  • Beware of negative peer pressure, the kind of friends that you choose can make or break you.
  • Thus it is important to choose your friends well and build healthy relationship with your peers.

What’s the evidence?

Studies have shown that positive, high-achieving peers have positive effects on teen’s satisfaction with school, educational expectations, report card grades, and standardize achievement test scores (Epstein, 1983). In Canada, 80% of graduates from high school had friends who believe completing high school was important (Statistics Canada, 1993). Students with friends who like school, have good grades and interested in school are more likely to graduate high schools (Ekstrom et al 1986). Thus, having friends who believe academic achievement is important is indeed beneficial for teens.

Tips for Teens

How can I build relationship with my peers?

  • Love and respect yourself.
  • Be nice and kind to others.
  • Smile and be humble.
  • Get interested in your friends’ life and activities.
  • Listen to their stories, issues or problems.
  • Share your common interests, hobbies, ideals or aspirations.
  • Most importantly, choose your friends well. Choose those who can have positive influence on you.
  • Choose peers whom do not involved in risky behaviours or illegal activities such as smoking, taking drugs, alcohol, illegal racing, gambling, premarital sex etc.
  • Be clear on your goals in life. Strive to acquire as much knowledge and skills to prepare you for life.
  • Choose friends that can support you academically, emotionally, socially, spiritually. Be a balanced person.
  • Improve your knowledge and skills so that you can feel good about yourself and have special skills or abilities to share with your peers.
  • Introduce your friends to your family. They can help and support you to build relationship with your peers too.
  • Engage in healthy activities with your peers such as activities in sports, music, arts, reading, riding, studying, watching good movies together.
  • Avoid negative peers, be assertive and say NO to negative peer pressure. (refer assertive skills).
  • Team-up with peer who have common interest with you and engage in healthy and productive activities.
  • Involve in societies, volunteer bodies or NGOs. There is a high chance that you will meet peers that have similar interest with you. Examples are Girls Guide, Boys Scouts, Cadet, Junior Mercy, Rakan Muda, PROSTAR.
  • If you’re a student, put your priority right. Choose peers with similar interest, focus on your studies, build up your capacities, engage in productive activities and make SUCCESS as your GOAL IN LIFE.
  • You can do it, GOOD LUCK!
Last Reviewed : 12 December 2012
Content Writer : Dr. Nik Rubiah bt. Nik Abdul Rashid