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Sexual Desire & Control

What is sexual desire?

  • Sexual desire refers to one’s interest in sex
  • The sexual drive is a natural feeling or urge
  • It influences thoughts, behaviors and fantasies


Is sexual desire normal?

  • This feeling is normal and is part of growing up
  • Everyone will have this feeling due to the changes in our hormones. See understanding adolescent
  • These hormones are important to carry out reproductive and sexual functions

When sexual desire does become unhealthy?

  • Uncontrollable sexual urge leading to sexual aggression (e.g. rape).
  • Sexual attraction towards same sex, children and animals.


What influences sexual desire?

Factors responsible include:

Inner drive

  • As a normal adolescent, you will have sexual interests and feelings
  • You can become emotionally and sexually attracted to the opposite sex and drawn towards physical relationship
  • Exposure to seductive messages
    • Constant exposure to sexually provocative materials in the form of media (e.g. movies, television, magazines, internet and others)
  • Lack of responsible adult supervision and guidance
    • You might get wrong information about sexuality in places like cybercafes, pornographic materials
  • Environmental situation
    • Being alone with your partner in a quiet area such as a park, car, room, house and other places might induce your desire

How can I control sexual desire?

  • Be aware of what stimulates your desire either within yourself or with others.
  • Believe and stand by your own values.
  • Avoid situations that stimulate your desire further.
  • If the desire is with others, you need to:
    • Respect each other boundaries
    • Know your limits
    • Learn to communicate and negotiate. Able to say NO
    • Be responsible and know the consequences for your actions (3R concept on sexuality)

Get accurate information from reliable sources:

  • Your parents
  • Teachers
  • Doctors
  • Religious teachers

Get involved in activities and programs that build skills. Examples:

Express and communicate your feelings with your parents or a trusted adult.

Get involved in healthy social activities. Examples: be a volunteer in charity activities, religious activities www.befrienders.org.my


Last Reviewed : 27 April 2012
Content Writer : Dr. Nik Rubiah bt. Nik Abd. Rashid
Cik Lim Siow Yen
Reviewer : Dr. Nik Rubiah bt. Nik Abd. Rashid