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Emotional Demand

Help!    My Partner is Very Demanding

As a teenager you might be in a relationship. It is important that there is mutual respect between the two of you to have a healthy partnership. Beware of your partner taking advantage and abusing you emotionally and mentally. Emotionally demanding partners can take a toll on your relationship. If you are a victim of an emotionally demanding relationship, you will need to recognize this and get help. There is an abuser and a victim in an emotionally demanding relationship.

Recognizing the abuser and the victim

The Abuser

The partner who is an abuser is usually a bully, with very little self-worth and is insecure.He or she will demand your respect instead of earning it from you. The inferiority complex will drive the abuser to even physically harm the victim besides the mental anguish caused.

Sources: http://holistichealthdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/cartoon-domesticviolence.jpg

The victim

Most victims suffer in silence to save the relationship either out of love or out of fear for the abuser.There is hope that things will improve and the victim may tolerate this for long period of time. This tolerance further enables the abuser to continue bullying. Emotional demands or abuse can go unnoticed from those around you. It is thus important to identify the signs of emotional demand or abuse by your partner

Signs of emotional abuse / demands

The following are some signs that need to be identified in an emotionally demanding relationship

  • Insulting you all the time either privately or publically

  • Showing disrespect

  • Not sensitive to your feelings

  • Verbal accusation

  • Not acknowledging your family

  • Not showing praise or affection

  • Hurting your feelings all the time

  • Blackmailing you

  • Not providing for you or not supporting you financially

  • Threatens you and your family

  • Lies to you most of the time

  • Being suspicious of you

  • Restricts your movement and activities

  • Hurling criticism at you

  • Making unrealistic demands from you

Sources: http://holistichealthdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/cartoon-domesticviolence.jpg

How to stop the abuse

1. Firstly you have to admit to the abuse and want to get help.

2. Confront your partner early at the outset and talk to him/her to change their behaviour.

3. You will have to set boundaries and let your partner know what is acceptable to you and that you will not be bullied.

4. Get support from your family and friends. This will give you the confidence to walk out of an abusive partnership.

5. You can also get help from NGOs and Government agencies eg the Police, religous or the welfare department.

6. Lastly, if your partner continues his demands and is emotionally abusive, it is better to walk away from the relationship and seek help to gain your confidence back.

Last Reviewed : 26 November 2014
Writer : Dr. Sheila Marimuthu
Accreditor : Dr. Hargeet Kaur A/P Basant Singh