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Dating

Introduction

As boys and girls reach puberty, they will become increasingly attracted to each other.

Dating is the process by which boys and girls get to know each other in view of getting into a more serious relationship.

 

What is dating?

Dating is when two people are attracted to each other and decide to spend time together and get to know each other.

Examples of dating are when a girl and a boy who like each other go together for a meal and watching movies.

 

Dating and our culture

In most cultures there are accepted practices/ guidelines for relationships between males and females.

It is important to follow your social cultural guidelines towards healthy and meaningful relationship.

 

What does this mean?

In any culture, the aim is to experience a “healthy” relationship where you will experience the greatest joy and be free from harm if the relationship is kept within healthy boundaries. This means that both partners respect each other , want the best for each other and there is no abuse in any form i.e. ; emotional blackmailing, forced to have sex etc.

 

Is it OK for teens to date?

Dating can be a positive experience where there is mutual respect and support.

But many parents discourage dating because they fear that you may make yourself vulnerable to being hurt or will be distracted from your studies.

This is because at this impressionable stage of your life, even though you may have the body of an adult, you still lack the experience and maturity to realize when things have gone out of hand or beyond your control in a relationship.

Studies also have important implications for your future well-being and happiness.

 

What if I never get to be asked out?

It is perfectly ok. Consider yourself lucky that you do not have to deal with the situation.

There are many alternatives to dating and different ways to get to know boys and girls.

You can be friends, hang out together and do meaningful activities together without formally labeling it as a “date”.

For example, you may go on group dates to see movies, go for a picnic etc.

 

What are the possible negative consequences of dating?

Abusive relationship which may lead to violence or date rape.

Premarital sexual relationship which may lead to unwanted teenage pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI’s) such as HIV, Herpes, Hepatitis B&C, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia.

Risks of breaking up and feelings of hurt.

 

Tips on dating

  • Set your own limit/standards that you will uphold based on your religion / culture / expectations in order to minimize the harm to yourself and your marriage prospect for example by not allowing yourself to embark on unprotected sexual relations with a boyfriend as you ( or him!) may end up marrying someone else!
  • Choose your partner wisely. Only date a person who respects you and treats you well
  • It is always best to go out together with other people that you already know as in a group date and to go to public places
  • Avoid being alone together or going out in the middle of the night or going to your boyfriend’s house or going to his friend’s house whom you do not know
  • Don’t compromise on your principles just to please someone else
  • Before you go dating, always make sure another person knows where you are going and how to contact you, for example you may inform your parent / sibling / trusted friend
  • It is always best you introduce your friend to your parent or older sibling and get their opinion before you embark on a very serious relationship

 

Last Reviewed : 27 April 2012
Content Writer : Dr. Nik Rubiah bt. Nik Abd. Rashid  
  : Dr. Wan Fadhilah bt. Wan Ismail
Reviewer : Dr. Salmiah bt. Md. Sharif
  : Dr. Wan Fadhilah bt. Wan Ismail