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Breaking Up

How will you know when you should break up?

When your are in an abusive or unhealthy relationship.

When you find yourself feeling more unhappy than happy being with your partner.

Working out whether to stay or break up can be a hard decision.

Talking to someone you trust can help you decide what to do. See decision making

Consider how you can break up without conflict.


The following steps may help you to break up in the best way:

  • Acknowledge to yourself that the you are in an unhealthy relationship
  • Come to terms with your own feelings and make a firm decision to end the relationship
  • Once you decide to break up with your partner, immediately think about how, when and where you will take action
  • Make sure you personally break the news, not via SMS or via another friend
  • Make an appointment to meet up with your boy/girl friend in a public place for e.g. kedai Mamak, Starbucks etc in the daytime. Don’t break the news at their house or in an isolated place
  • Disclose the decision in a calm rational manner, not during a heated argument or in moment of anger
  • Show your resolve by being firm, decisive and honest. Help your partner understand why you want to end the relationship. Be tactful and kind, not brutal
  • Remind your partner that you’ll never forget the positive qualities in your relationship, but emphasize that you’re ready to move on with your life
  • Make sure your partner understands the decision is final and he or she needs to accept the breakup
  • Stay positive as you both make plans to go your separate ways
  • Be prepared for any possible danger that you could be in?
  • If you feel that you are in an abusive relationship, seek help from somebody you trust for example a parent, teacher, older sibling / relative

Last Reviewed : 05 March 2008
Content Writer : Dr. Wan Fadhilah bt. Wan Ismail
: Dr. Nik Rubiah bt. Nik Abd. Rashid
Reviewer : Dr. Nazrila Hairizan bt. Nasir